Saturday, August 23

Why giving advice sucks

Whilst helping someone else going through a breakup, I thought:

I got the relationship I wanted. I was with one of my best friends.

And it didn't work out.

What the fuck am I going to do with THAT?

Wednesday, August 13


Saw Guardians of the Galaxy last night and it was pretty good, even with the couple behind me who had the 3yo girl with them. She occasionally exclaimed 'That was tight!' 

As I drove home, I felt the cry of the old fears, 'what are you going to do?' and I had no answer. I cried a little. I have been set aside and I am mourning not only the relationship that was, but the one I had hoped we would enjoy in the future. 

Time runs out on everything. 

I don't know what I am going to do, and it frightens me. I don't know what my relationship with my friend is going to be like and that worries me. I just don't know things I thought I had a sense of and coupled with just being sad, it's a grind.

Tuesday, August 12

I see anger at Robin Williams' death and I think:

It's interesting how complicated and seemingly paradoxical people can be, isn't it?

For example, one can feel unnecessary anger at someone you never met for being crushed under a burden you never had to carry. 

While still feeling immensely sad that someone who was a stranger and gave you joy is no longer with us.

These responses, they are always about us. If, perhaps, they were about the person in question, maybe things would be different.