"...but overlying all the small, petty, stupid, basically foreordained fuckups looms the ever-present prospect of the life-fucking fuckup, a fuckup so profound and all-encompassing as to crush all hope of redemption."
That's it. That is the thing I am most scared of. The thing I cannot be redeemed for.
This is very hard, considering the point of life is to fail until success.