And yeah, that was a joke but it made me feel very glum. I'm in need of more money. Not even a lot, but more, nonetheless. Enough to have Fuck You money (FY$) instead of just Oh Shit money (OS$). It's not even as though I have much OS$. I am having to scrape by every month and it's just no fun.
Which leads me to the next problem: getting money is about doing work. And I don't have work that I "love" and expect to get paid for, so I just work. Work that I don't get paid enough for might be OK, if I loved it.
So now I have to find better paying work. This forces me to care about something I don't really give a shit about; Money. Don't get me wrong, I want enough money. But that's all I need; enough. There isn't a passion project for 'enough'.
I am explaining this badly. Essentially; it would be best to be enthusiastic about your work. But I don't care about work, I care about all the other things; friends and games and writing and beer. And I need money to support my interactions with those other things. So I have to screw up enough gumption to give a shit about something I don't to try and find "better" work. A process that generally leads to being told "no, we don't want you."
So I have to try and rev myself up for rejection, all to acquire something I don't care about (better work) so that I can hopefully get enough money to have FY$, so I can do the things I DO care about.