Tuesday, August 5

The trick

Last week was a shit week at work. I can't remember being so angry at work; my frustration levels went through the roof.

I need a new job. I am afraid that my skills of mediocrity have left me with few avenues to pursue one. My Dad suggests 'leadership skills', but I honestly have no idea what that means or where I'd go to learn such a thing. I do not recall seeing these kinds of classes taught at GU.

I've always had trouble figuring out what I 'ought to do with my life'. I like to write but I have no idea how I'd ever get paid for such things, and time really does become an issue. Writing is hard work, and even though I like it, it takes time and effort to get something out that's worth reading. Then you have to be lucky enough to have someone pay you for it. I've never been much for promoting myself, so I generally hit a dead end when it comes to going anywhere.

They say there are two problems; you know what you want but you don't know how to get it, or you don't know what you want.

I seem to have a little of both. Maybe I should make a list of what I do want, so things will become clearer.

However, there are a few things that need to be done.
1) I need to not be angry at my supervisor. I need to figure out a way to release this soon, as she'll be in the office next week and will no doubt want a sit down with me. I need to be able to be civil with her.

2) I need a plan of action to get me out of Dodge. I really really have to leave here; I can feel it taking a toll on me physically. That is bad, no matter how you cut it.

3) I need a thought as to what I ought to be doing. If writing won't pay (since I have no idea how to make money at it), and I shouldn't be a teacher, what is there? I honestly don't know, and I'd like to stay in Portland to do it, whatever it is.


Dirk said...

go back to school take courses that lead toward writing careers such as journalism. a good place to start even for fiction writers.

A.Ho said...

Am curious as to why you shouldn't teach.

DM said...

I shouldn't teach mostly because I have no passion for it.

Or, I have no real passion for the subjects they teach in school. And teachers work brutal hours. For me to ensure I'd have a job, I'd have to teach match, and my aptitude towards math is solid, but not enough to teach it well.

Coupled with the respect and pay that teachers get, I understand that to teach you really have to love it. And I don't think I do.

Rasta said...

I disagree that you have to love teaching. I have seen and met MANY teachers who don't love it, but for them it's a job.

Also, don't rule out the whole elementary school age. I could see you doing 5th or 6th grade.

But, finding what you really want to do is important.