Friday, August 18


Read this, and thought: yup. This is one of the great challenges facing me.

At the same time, it also makes me wish I was smarter. I think that the Stewardess has pretty much been saying this for awhile now. In her own perfect way.


Blue Orchid said...

On suggestion and intrigue....I've read Warpup (I've also assumed an identity of sorts)...and by god do I agree. Life is too short to be consumed by the needs of others - unless yours are being met by the other as well - if its mutual self sacrifice - it can be a beautiful thing - if not, it can be the ugliest mess imaginable.
Its about loving the person for who they are....if you can't do that or don't know who the person even is, chances are you don't love them.

DM said...

But it's also about not being afraid to ask for what you want. Especially since sometimes what you want is considered to be bad, by a larger society or even, sometimes, someone who says they love you.

The question comes: is it bad, are they protecting you or themselves?

But since you're going to get hurt, why not just fucking ask, you know? If you're denied, then you learn a whole lot. And if you're approved, then you learn other things.

The Primordial Stewardess said...

To my mind, love - the action not the feeling - is sticking around even when it isn't fun and you don't feel like it. Maybe even its sticking around especially when you would rather cut bait. Its two people working shit out. I should probably read what you've linked to first, but I'm stubborn and I do what I want! All seriousness aside, love, the thing you do and love, the pitter patter of the heart, are two totally different things. What blue orchid said about the mutual self-sacrifice, I agree with conditionally. When I have felt like I really, really was in love, it went something like this: okay, nevermind. It's too long and better suited to being told about over a beer or something. In short, its deciding about who suffers more in any given scenario and then taking turns being the one who makes concessions on the other's behalf and being the one granted relief from the pain, and make that as abstract as you like. I don't believe in "the one" right person, but I do believe that things are a fuck of a lot easier if you're really compatible. I feel a blog entry coming on.

DM said...

Working shit out is important-and so is compromise, and the occasional sacrifice.

I agree, though, that everything is a lot easier if you're compatible. Compatiblity, though, only exists so long as you're willing to communicate. I mean, people grow and change-who I was at 25 is merely a part of who I am now. At 34, I'm different, and there is a small collection of people who have been there for that change, and welcomed it.

They all love me--just not all of them sexually.

But I am looking at a life that is considered to be deviant.

At the end of the day, I want to love who I love, and not be shamed because of that. I don't know how it's all going to work. But I do know that nothing is every going to happen if I live in fear.