Saturday, February 25

smells like 1988

The Cult, yes that The Cult, are were on Craig Ferguson tonight.


Thursday, February 16


I just very quickly want to give a 'Hell yeah' to the latest issue of Daredevil. The last creative team ended the series in a place that would be difficult for many-the continuity clock was not reset, our hero was not put back into his life as though nothing had happened, with liberty and justice for all.

Like it or not, the last run of Daredevil focused more on the lawyer than the hero. As a result, the series had a more humanistic bent; less fighting, more character dynamics. And, as a consequence of this, the end of the series did not come with a huge fight scene (although there was one hell of a knockdown) but in the courtroom-and with Matt Murdock being sentenced to prison.

The new creative team (writer Ed Brubaker and artist Michael Lark) start there, and they hit the ground running. My complaint at this point is that there seems to be 'overcorruption'; it seems that not only the guards, but the administrators-hell, everyone except Murdock is somehow tainted. It will be interesting to see how this plays out, though; I have great faith in Brubaker as a writer (he's always been good-Sleeper is one of the best reads you could ask for in the superhero/superspy genre. Yes, I know) and Lark is handling the art chores quite fluidly.

So I'm sticking with it.

Wednesday, February 8

On Kindness

Aaron's last post make me wonder-how does one be kind?

This is going to be a little convoluted, so I'll do the best I can.

I was very, very angry as a young lad. The universe was unfair, and I was desperate with rage at this fact. This condition was made worse by the fact that people who should've been tipping the scales to balance, were not doing so. I decided to become an asshole, mostly because that way I'd be harder to damage.

Somewhere along the line, in high school, or more likely early college, I just got tired of being pissed off all the time. I decided to try and still be me-honest, good friend, resolute-without alienating everyone who came around me. Being angry seemed futile, and accomplished little. The universe-and the morons in it-weren't going to change. I had to change.

But, since I'd been fucked with and raised by people who loved me, and was around people who cared for me, my change was to be more compassionate towards everyone else, or at least to try and be more compassionate towards others. It's not easy, but it seemed better than being angry. Mostly, it is better than being angry.

Except. Except now I'm depressed. What did I do with the fire inside? I shut it off. It did not serve a purpose, I felt, so I clamped the bellows and let the forge go cool. And now I don't exactly know what to do.

Anyone who's been around me when I've gone on a rant-especially when buzzed-has seen that my anger at the universe for not being right-or fair-is not dead. Oh no. But I don't know what to do with it now. And when I don't know what to do with it, the anger cools, and sinks to the bottom of my consciousness, and eventually weighs me down.

It's been said I should be a teacher, or perhaps a therpist. Those professions do seem interesting, I'll confess. Something where I'm involved in helping people (to learn, to get better), or able to unleash some righteous vengeance (anything involving the destruction of self-important neocons) feels like a better thing than just punching keys all day. But I don't do those things. I don't know how, and I'm...more than a little concerned that I'm not good at them, even when I do know what I'm doing.

Kindness, I think, is a default for me, but anger is also a default setting for me. My OS is all fucked up. But when I see A. talk about needing to be more kind, I wonder if I'm really missing something here, because this is a man who has reminded me, on more than one occasion, to be open to the struggles of others. Others whom I do not want to be open to. I am not trying to minimize his goals to be a better man, nor say: Ah, you're fine, don't do that. I just wonder what I'm missing when someone who I feel is kind, does not feel he's done enough. Makes me think that I've got a long, long way to go.

The flip side of this is; I need to do something with my anger. I don't want to be fucking depressed. I don't need the weight of anger gone wrong. I need to honor it, use it appropriately, so I can move on. Not every situation can be handled by mere mortals with simple kindness. I just don't know how to work that out, yet.

May I buy you a Coke? May I teach you to sing?

I needed something to post about and Kerry's post on resolutions has sparked the topic.

I started a resolution in Nov/Dec as a warm up for the coming New Year. I couldn't remember the last time I'd made a resolution or any time that I actually thought about it beyond January 2nd, so I figured I'd give it a whirl. My resolution at that time was to turn off the PC and TV by 11pm. This would allow me to wind down and go to sleep. I knew that without cathode ray stimulation I would actually feel tired and go to bed, otherwise I was liable to stay up until 1, 2, or 3AM. Being that I regularly need to be out of bed for work anytime between 4 & 6 AM this was not beneficial. That lasted for a couple weeks, not even into the New Year, and even now it is midnight. I haven't given up, I just need to recommit.

The other resolution I came up with right around Christmas time was that I needed to read more. Specifically, well mostly, fiction. I know that there are stories that I should read. The goal started as one book every pay period (2 weeks). Not wanting to set myself up for failure I modified it to one book per month, then I modified it to 6 books for the year. That is roughly 3x as many books as I finished reading in 2005.

But these resolutions are really just pet resolutions, habits I should develop. The resolution that means the most is to be more kind. Quite simply, I'm a mean son of a bitch.

(Insert smiley face.)

It boils down to this: I want to develop a greater kindness and patience in those moments when kindness wants to bail, when it begs to step aside to make way for rudeness and anger. Kindness is one thing I know I can do that makes a real change in the world. The effects are not measurable but they are important to me.

Monday, February 6

Stupid Bowl

First off I'll link to The Goat's post regarding this abhorrent travesty. He's provided plenty of interesting links.

I think this game should've been much different, and that's not to say that the Seahawks would've won, but that terrible calls certainly changed the course of it. The Seahawks didn't do so well in the second half, and it would've been great to see them overcome the lemons thrust upon them, but the momentum and morale of the second half was marred by the calls in the first. I feel they were robbed of the opportunity to show what they could do, even if they lost, it could've been a tighter more nail biting experience.

I'm not a really big sports guy and I've never been a real fan of any particular NFL team, but after this game my allegiance lies squarely with the Seattle Seahawks. Through good times and bad they are now MY team.

Sunday, February 5


Seattle played such a fucking good first half, despite some questionable reffing, I really thought this was going to be one of the best Superbowls ever. Not just because a team I like could win, but because they really seemed to be solidly matched.

And the 2nd half, everything that could go against Seattle did-including some of the most questionable officiating I've seeen in awhile.

Congrats to the Steelers, who I root for under almost every other circumstances, and who certainly fought hard to get there.

But man...I so expected a different result.

Saturday, February 4


I've been drinking more beer than usual the last couple of weeks. Lately two beers accompany dinner followed by a third to kick it all down with. I don't consider that excessively excessive, but it's more than normal for me. Maybe it's a midwinter coping mechanism. Sierra Nevada and Mirror Pond pales are what I've been favoring.

I picked up a couple new albums Friday before last. Best Buy had a nice sale on some indie titles so I picked up Danger Doom's The Mouse and The Mask and Antony and the Johnsons' I am a bird Now. I like the Danger Doom quite a bit, which follows suit with my recent rekindled fondness for Vaudeville Villain, but the other isn't quite doing it for me yet. I imagine I am a bird Now will be a treasure that future A.Ho discovers.

A group that perked my ears the other day is The National. I've listened to Alligator a couple of times and thought it was nice enough, but my fancy remained unstruck. Then I was in Boo Radley's the other day when they were playing it and it grabbed me. The same thing happened with Wolf Parade, the current king of my Top Artists chart on It will be interesting to see if the phenomenon sticks with The National.

Music that I currently really want to get my hands on: Jamie Lidell Multiply

I finished up season two of Buffy this week. I was not expecting much out of this. The first season created enough interest in me to eventually grab the second. The second season started slow, building up to a nice pace, and then POW! That finale was something else! It certainly ranks in my finest hours of television entertainment.

I spent some time playing around with Splinter Cell this week. It's one of my all-time favorite video games. I should give #2 a shot again, but they changed some stuff in the gameplay that I didn't really dig, all because some people thought the first one was too hard. That's one of the things I really dug about it. It was a giant puzzle begging to be solved, with few opportunities to gun your way through. Love it.

And now I'm back to playing Oddworld - Stranger's Wrath. I saw that Play magazine gave it the XBox Game of the Year and this inspired me to jump back into that fun little 'verse. It is quite a ride. I think maybe I'll go play it right now.

Thursday, February 2

Loop? What Loop?

Tonight I plan to watch a movie that's nearly 20 years old that, apparently, the entire population of Earth has seen but me.

So…Coming Soon, to a Viewing Screen near me (it's in my living room) -- Spaceballs.

Wednesday, February 1