Friday, January 27

Stupid

LInky takes you to the Spider Man cover that apparently unveils his new costume-which is apparently built by Tony Stark (aka Iron Man).

What's wrong with it?
1) It's full of technocrap. Whomever came up with the idea of giving Spidey extra mechanical arms is a fucking moron, and should have his mouth duct taped. The person who approved the idea should be subject to genital duct tape. Why? Because these gadgets are so far removed from what the character is about.

2) It's red and gold. Gold is not a Spidey color-they've just disassociated the hero from part of what makes him an icon, and associated him with a different icon. Bad. Plus, the color scheme blows, if only because it's so very, very ordinary.

3) It's stupidly uninspired. This could've been so cool: supergenius hero makes a new costume for Spiderman. It could have nanotech to repair rips in the cloth, or be like some of the new body armor the military is using: very light, but superdense, and thus bulletproof. There could even be things done to the hood, an HUD, or maybe a special seal to bind it to the suit, so the mask didn't just come off. It could have fabric that interefered with electronic surveliance devices (suppressing body heat, using the anti-radar tech from the Air Force, crazy shit like that).

I don't know: I'm just throwing ideas up there; my point is it could've been subtlely cool, and instead we get this abomination that the next writer will have to explain away in his/her reboot of the series, because everyone will look at it and go: What the fuck? This isn't Spiderman. He's supposed to change, but like this?

No. Marvel: you fucked up.

3 comments:

Fuz said...

And the biggest fuck-up of all: Spiderman. Spider. Spiders have how many arms/legs, people? Eight.

How many does the new Spidey have? Seven.

Marvel. What a bunch of botohzsvs.

A.Ho said...

If this is real THEN Fuckers are in charge.

DM said...

Well, I don't have any reason to doubt it currently. Granted, I'm not saying that it's true, but recent events in Spiderman and Avengers have pointed to Stark being involved in some kind of Spidey redesign. So there's evidence of something going on.

However, the rumor is that these changes are just 'temporary', which is crap, of course, since they'd be temporary no matter what.

It's sad, b/c Strazinski (or whatever the spelling is) actually had developed some subtle but interesting powers for our hero, along with an interesting dilemna. But it seems like it's going to play out with maximum stupid.