"Sadly, unwanted pornography often leads to wanted pornography," Keeler told members of the U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops on Tuesday.
Indeed. I know that if it wasn't for all the unwanted porn out there, I'd've never gotten into watching people have sex. It's a slippery slope: you start by learning about sex, then suddenly you'd like to try that, 'cause it does seem like fun, and then, when no one wants to give you any, you wonder; is there some unwanted porn out there for me?
No-wait, I'm getting this all wrong.
I was actually offered porn by a street dealer. He was dressed all shady and shit, like some kind of Eminem white trash dude, only with the mustache that clearly marked him as a porno dude, instead of a meth dealer. And I didn't want it. I swear Mom, that porn isn't mine. I'm holding onto it for a friend.
And the next thing I know; I want porn. I don't know how that happened!