Monday, September 19

J.C. and Me

I agree with Fuz, I don't exactly look like John Cusack, but I'm not sure that's really necessary. I think it's more of a height, weight, shape thing for lighting and what not. I really don't know much about it, someone asked me and I said 'You bet.' So maybe I'm their man, or maybe not.
Found out today that filming is supposed to start near the end of September, maybe early October. And I also found out that one Salma Hayek may also be showing her hot self around town.



The Primordial Stewardess said...

"J.C. and Me" made me think of Jesus Christ. Thought you were gonna tell us you had an epiphany. Hmmm...religion. Do we dare broach such a sensitive, but ultimately boring, topic?

Kris said...

A.Ho, if I know you (and I don't, really), you'll totally have Ms. Hayek in the sack. So I guess that means you won't.

A.Ho said...

Ah...but she's dyslexic, so my charm may yield some results for once.

DM said...

Selma Hayek: I would eat every person on this board to bed her.

I would do it with Tabasco, and more Natty Light than Alpha Omega Tau drinks during rush week. I would deep fry, soas to retain the crunchy parts.

Then I would brag about bedding Hayek until I was killed by a mob of rabid kangaroos, most likely gnawed to death with several deep tissue wounds, on I-90, just east of Ritzville. My dying words: I fucked Selma Hayek, and she came back for more. So I am better than you.

When in Hell, I will most certainly be given Lieutenant status, most likely overseeing the punishment of pop stars, hopefully by putting them in a Thunderdome style cage, and every day I will poop in a toilet made out of Bush family bones. Which I will collect, like Homiez.

Every horrible, firey, frigid day will be greeted with the same statement: I fucked Selma Hayek, and you did not. Then I will go about my business of torturing the members of NKotB until their blood can be used as paint thinner.

When Satan takes me to dinner (we eat at Perkins for obvious reasons) I will, again, and just 'cause it's fun, recount how I ate people and then fucked Selma.

If at all possible, I will make an escape from Hell. Dick Cheney did it, so I know it must be possible. And while I'm free, I will hunt, and eat, anyone who 'headed' FEMA from 2002-2004. (The new guy shall be spared) If at all possible, I will provide The Shrub with pretzels. Lots of them.

And, I shall fuck Selma Hayek again.

Fuz said...

There are few women who want to make me walk on the wild side. Salma Hayek is one of them.

As for the Cusack thing…no, you don't look like him, Ho, but you don't NOT look like him. And, for photo double purposes, not not looking like him would suffice.

Fuz said...

Oh, and DM is a fucking genius.

The Primordial Stewardess said...


Dearest darling Dan,

I would let you eat me so that you could fuck Selma Hayek. Methinks that Tobasco would not exactly improve upon the experience but I would never be so arrogant as to believe that I know everything there is to know about about eating. My boyfriend might have (m)oral objections, though.

But yes, I'll take one for the team. Hell, I'll take a couple for the team.

Does deadpan work on the Internets?