See, I do and accept all kinds of shit about my friends. Things I wouldn't be cool with a stranger doing. I also try to encourage my friends to follow the brighter path-and they do the same for me, I hope. (But don't tell them I'm Satan.)
And while I agree with Fuz and the MT that people should stand up for themselves, and live responsible lives, AND that they are responsible for the shit they do when the fuck up or lie-
I also know that there, sometimes, but for the grace of the Universe, go I. And as absurd as it may seem, people don't make decisions like hiding their homosexualty, or their bizzare love for Andrew WK, with the idea that they are going to hurt anyone. They do it because they think they are doing the right thing-the best possible thing.
And it should also be noted, that people do things and make demands, that us, looking in on their lives, do not understand. Can't. I have a friend whose ex-wife did shit that should not stand anywhere under any circumstances. Yet he stayed with her. And I supported him, because he's my friend. And when he got out, I supported him in that, too.
I love Fuz, I do. But I also know that he made a decision not to go to Texas in part b/c his SO said: If you go, you go without me. And this had not just a little to do with the attitudes us northerners have about the conditions in the south. (Some justified, some not, like anything else.)
I don't bring up that story to make Fuz look bad, I bring it up because, like it or not, we are passing judgement on someone whose life we do not have, with pressures we do not understand, and with biases that have nothing to do with that person's life, but with ourselves.
I'm not saying that we are doing something wrong, mind you. I'm saying that we should acknowledge what we are doing, and allow for the possibility that we are wrong, or at least, being harsh.
That DOESN'T mean I think that people should get a free pass for the dumb fucking decisions they make. As the Texan pointed out-taking responsibility for your actions is part of what makes you an adult. And I even said to Fuz in an email that
I don't think you should give him any slack. He chose a lie. On top of that-he chose cocaine. One I could understand, and feel bad for, but not a lot. The other, I just think: fucking moron.
Because at some point, he said: this is more important than that to me.
But perhaps I was quick in my judgement.