Tuesday, March 15

Here comes the argument

The following is a reply I gave to the question: Have you been naughty or nice?

"You have presented me with the Iocane Powder dilemma. I clearly cannot say naughty, for this would open me up to all kinds of evil forces, and even some good ones, hellbent on extracting vengance for past deeds. But I cannot say nice either, for that would make me a liar, and we shall tolerate no lies upon questions such as these.

Yet we are friends, perhaps? And friends sometimes let each other lie; we know that there are untruths that must be allowed if we are to get along. This lie would obviously place me in the naughty camp. Yet my concern for said friendship speaks to a goodness that most men would ignore, in hopes that the lie would be more effective. That is-I am willing to call myself a sinner for the greater good, thus putting me farther toward the nice realm, than a dark hearted one.

Of course, neither of these choices is made easier by the threat of physical punishment, which could be seen as getting my comeuppance, or truly a broader statement of man's inhumanity to man, where indeed the good shall suffer, and the gods shall allow it, so that we may grow and become truly free. These spankings complicate an already complex matter; sometimes I know that I am to be punished for the villainy I have committed, and it would be only just for me to accept that stout-heartedly. But I do not wish to be punished for deeds I have not done; the idea is not only anti-American, it is, at it's core level, refusing acts of injustice that makes better than we could be without said challenges.

I must ponder on this matter more. It may take quite some time...but I promise you I shall give this matter my full attention as the day continues into night."


Anonymous said...

If it was a woman asking you the question, and you had kept the reply brief, you MIGHT have gotten laid.

Alas, you did not keep it brief.


A.Ho said...

I'd have replied in the following fashion:

a) Parents -- "Nice. Very nice. Give me pie."

b) Female -- "Straight up naughty, give me pie."

c) Friend -- "What?! STFU and let go of my beer."

The Primordial Stewardess said...

Your logic is dizzying, indeed!